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  2. So St Andrews, the home of Golf, a prestigious University – on the face of it lovely. Beautiful beaches, nice walks – outwith the town. Tourists, School kids, pensioners and the locals (who resemble Zombies) squeeze in to the three main streets and get pavement rage at each other.

  3. There is a local school where very no paedophilia takes place, a local library where you can take out books and read them, and a Thursday market where you can buy all manner of delights from broken biscuits to clothes pegs. However, on Friday/Saturday nights, the pubs become filled with under 18s, and drunk football yobbos.

  4. Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the chav mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the chav scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking shit hole of a council estate - with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and.

  5. What can you say about Deal? On the face of it, a pleasant Kent seaside resort with a charming “old town” clustered around the lovely Middle Street area.

  6. Abergavenny is a market town surrounded by verdant hills. The town has a tired, run down feel with lots of charity and cheap goods shops.

  7. Beverley, the quaint little market town nestled in the rolling hills—– I mean, abnormally flat, not-quite-so-rolling planes of East Yorkshire’s commercial farm fields (“ Mekkin’ tatties fer Tesco!”) Not much to look at… yes, but still the locals spout it be the Gem of the North East.

  8. Manchester is a city with the highest rate of robbery in the UK and one of the highest in the western world. The ***** are so hard working in this ex mill town that a house is burgled, a person mugged, and a car torched every few minutes of the day.

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