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  1. Access by the A30 is frequented by many a **** in their recently acquired escort XR3i, Astra GSi16v and the odd RS turbo. To the untamed eye, Sherborne is a quiet peaceful town, but underneath it is a festering wound in the side of society, populated by old people and *****. Unfortunately there is little go-between.

  2. Spondon. Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the **** mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the **** scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking **** hole of a council estate – with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and an accumulated IQ of 0.5. However, the ...

  3. Padiham: the skid mark of Lancashire. Lancashire North West. Padiham, the town that inspired the film makers, when making the hills have eyes. It’s a passing place (as I like to call it), because believe me, it’s not worth fekin stopping for anything unless you want impregnating. As you come off the motorway, you drive down a big long hill.

  4. Shenfield [ammended] Old Shenfield is exactly what it says on the tin: it is comprised of respectable middle-class housing dating from late-Victorian to the inter-war period, with some recent modern-day additions. Shenfield Park is also middle-class, but has a larger presence of terraces and 1970s semis. Nothing wrong with that, because it is a ...

  5. St Andrews Such a lovely town, if you are tourist or student that is…. So St Andrews, the home of Golf, a prestigious University – on the face of it lovely. Beautiful beaches, nice walks – outwith the town. Tourists, School kids, pensioners and the locals (who resemble Zombies) squeeze in to the three main streets and get pavement ...

  6. Chard: The town where the garbage men make deliveries. I might only be a tractor driver but I got a computer in me cab now, so I thought I would tell you about my local town. Chard used to be a right good old place. You could ‘ave a proper night out for a fiver at the rugby club and then get yer end away […] Read More…. Posted in Somerset ...

  7. Uxbridge. Well what can i say, they’ve taken over, the townies/chavsters now rule the once quiet little town of Uxbridge. They gather (in a similar, well exact actually, fashion to flys around a steaming pile of you know what) around several specific “wicked hang out joints” which include the ****** jewellery stores, the **** section of ...